We were made elitist

A year ago, I was a college graduate. Excited, proud, and ready to begin my career at a kick ass, award winning, reports busting, non-profit that would value my research skills, enthusiasm, drive, and professionalism. With a Bachelor's Degree in French and International Studies under my belt, I was convinced I would find the perfect 9-5 filled with tales of happy hours, office parties, a serious crush on the overly quirky, artsy fartsy, well read, intellectual, really really sweet and adorable lone male co-worker, blisters, all nighters, and all around fierceness. In short, life would be good. It would be very good.
One year later, phase one of having your shit together by 30 seems, more like is, an epic fail. Not much has gone according to planned although there have been a few blessings along the way.
My shortcomings haunt me as failure and mediocrity smothers me.
This idea of being the best of the best was born in Academia by academics, I use the term lightly, perhaps snobs or elitist would be more appropriate who felt entitled. The created a class of their own. They too, were told they were the cream of the crop and deserved nothing but the best, in fact more. They, like us, were guaranteed great paying jobs, fulfilling lives, the promise of the American Dream at the tip of their fingers and then some. After all, they had paid their dues so the offers would be never ending, they pay always increasing, and the vacations would be more exotic each year.
Then we came along. These same ideals were reiterated. We were made comfortable and guaranteed a comfortable future because we were matriculated into this ever growing group. But the success didn't come. A shitty economy, terrible job market welcomed us instead. Stole our thunder and took our hopes with them shamelessly. Many of us took jobs just for the sake of taking them. We were desperate. The fantasy stopped; we were thrown into the real world and its sucked.
I am disappointed and all but this has been a learning experience. I've learned that all our wants and needs require dedication, hard work, and perseverance. Education alone is not enough.

Besos,
Estella♥

VID 00000-20100501-2213.3GP

P.S.: I forgot to add this. I saw Baaba Maal play a few weeks ago and I wanted to share a sneak peak. Enjoy.

Besos,
Estella <3
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

I'm backkkkkkkkkkk and movig to Martinique

Hi everyone,
I know I've been MIA for quite some time but I'm BACK! And yes, I'm moving to Martinique in September! More on that later.

Have a great day!

besos,
Estella

smdh

I mean, I guess it's okay for you to make assumptions about me and my life since you've known me for, lets see, all of five minutes. I guess so. I completly forgot that you're omniscient. Silly, silly me.

SMDH. I'm upset.

Estella♥

Leopold Sedah Senghor

Black Woman

Naked woman, black woman

Clothed with your color which is life,
with your form which is beauty!

In your shadow I have grown up; the
gentleness of your hands was laid over my eyes.

And now, high up on the sun-baked
pass, at the heart of summer, at the heart of noon,
I come upon you, my Promised Land,
And your beauty strikes me to the heart
like the flash of an eagle.

Naked woman, dark woman

Firm-fleshed ripe fruit, sombre raptures
of black wine, mouth making lyrical my mouth
Savannah stretching to clear horizons,
savannah shuddering beneath the East Wind's
eager caresses

Carved tom-tom, taut tom-tom, muttering
under the Conqueror's fingers

Your solemn contralto voice is the
spiritual song of the Beloved.

Naked woman, dark woman

Oil that no breath ruffles, calm oil on the
athlete's flanks, on the flanks of the Princes of Mali
Gazelle limbed in Paradise, pearls are stars on the
night of your skin

Delights of the mind, the glinting of red
gold against your watered skin

Under the shadow of your hair, my care
is lightened by the neighboring suns of your eyes.

Naked woman, black woman,
I sing your beauty that passes, the form
that I fix in the Eternal,

Before jealous fate turn you to ashes to
feed the roots of life.

Bonne Annee

Bonne Annee everyone! I wish you all the best this year! 2009 was awkward, 2010 will be my year!

Besos,
Estella

Summer is almost over

Hello,
Quick update:
-Summer is almost over and fall is upon us. Pooo. I am excited for Fall in Boston. It's been a while since I've experienced this.
-I am going to apply for a Fulbright for sure! Cross your fingers for me because I would LOVE to be in Senegal next year, inshallah, putting my research proposal into action.
-I haven't found a job that will allow me to return to NY. I'm hoping September and Admin positions will be my ticket out of Boston. Again, please please please cross your fingers for me and pray for me.
-I'm going to start studying for the GRE. I'm in love with The New School. Inshallah, I'll get in. Again, please keep me in your prayers.
-I start driving lessons this week. I know, I'm the biggest loser ever because I don't have a license but I have a good reason. Not really, but we'll pretend.
-Chinua Achebe is a literary genius! Excellent writer. He humbles me.
-I've been crazy busy: working like a Mexican for sure and trying to enjoy.
I'm going to try to update more often.

Besos,
Estella♥